Grammy's Stove

Maybe it's because I've been sick, but I've been very emotional this week.  Tuesday was an especially emotional day because it was the day we got a new stove after the one we had died about a week or so earlier. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal.  But this stove belonged to my grandmother, mom's mom.  

My grandmother, Grammy, as we called her, died in 1972 when I was 4, so I have very few memories of her.  I remember making homemade noodles and beef with her, and my job was to roll out the noodles.  However, to this day, I don't know if that is a real memory or just something I think I remember because the story has been told so many times.  I do have two clear memories of my grandmother, though.  One was of me outside her hospital window when she and my grandfather were in the hospital together shoving pictures I had colored through the window crack.  The other was when I decided to walk for her when she was on her death bed.  That may not seem like a big deal to most, but I never "walked" until then. And by "walked", I mean on my crutches and braces.  I was always too scared to walk because I was afraid of falling.  But that day, I decided I would walk for her. I even remember asking my father to take me out back so I could practice walking. Then I came back inside and walked over to her bedside.  Family member have told me that me walking was the one thing she was hanging on for.  She died soon after that.  

It's funny how you think you are over something, and then years later, something happens to bring it all back.  And just as weird, how an object can bring back memories.  That's what happened with the stove.  I couldn't believe it when my mom told me it wasn't working.  I kept praying that it would start up again, but it didn't. Then the day came when they were delivering the new stove and taking the old one.  I decided to take pictures of the old stove.  I don't think they came out very well, but at least they're something.  The stove was the one connection I had to my grandmother, and now it was gone, so I now at least have something to remember it by, even if the pics came out lousy.  I cried the whole day.  Especially when they came to take away the old stove.  I don't know why.  I was so young when she died, that I barely remember her.  But it was as if my grandmother had died again.  Then it occurred to me.  Since I was so young when she died, was this her way of finally saying goodbye to me at a time when I can remember it?  Or maybe that her spirit had finally found peace? Maybe it was a message...that I should let go of the past and things that didn't matter anymore?  I don't know.  I just know we have a new stove that is working.  If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them.